The past year of my life has been quite a time of transformations for me! Physically (in somewhat of a sequential order), I overcame my eating disorder, started practicing yoga, spent more time out in nature, took more environmental approaches to life, and became vegan. For someone who for over a decade of her life made no efforts to improve her physical health, ate GMO and processed foods, stayed cooped up indoors and had the hobbies of surfing the internet, binging on Netflix (as well as a bag of Doritos), and playing countless hours of video games, I have certainly made leaps and bounds within the span of 14 months.
I have transformed mentally also. As well as overcoming my eating disorder physically, I arose from it mentally, which took more push and determination that I ever thought I was capable of. I rediscovered my interests, and now have so many, I never get bored like I used to, which is why I turned to electronic devices to pass the time. My mental disorders of social anxiety, depression, and O.C.D. dissipated, and my self-esteem grew. I grew a back-bone for myself, became less submissive/people pleasing, and realized whose shit I didn’t have to put up with (primarily ex-boyfriends). I removed these toxic people from my life and started discovering peace and joy returning to myself. My mother actually made a comment to me a while back, during the point where I was still on the endless career search (which was quite frustrating and discouraging at points) and had just broken up with my boyfriend of two and a half years, who I had developed a deep friendship and dependency towards. She said, “Wow Marissa, you have no job and no boyfriend, yet I have never seen you so happy”. This surprised me as well, seeing as in the past, I had always looked towards these external stimuli to comfort me. It was a sign that I was finding inner happiness.
My most recent transformation has been within the last two months. A LOT has happened (really? more so that everything you have mentioned?). Why yes imaginary reader! Aside from the eventful life changes of getting a job in my career field and starting a new relationship, I have been going through some “inexpiable” yet “explainable” soul shifts. It may not make sense to a lot of people, but for those of you who are aware of the consciousness and awakening/evolving of the soul, then you may understand what I am talking about and experiencing….
The start of my awakening process, that really started the ball rolling, was the series of karmic/life lessons that I need to overcome. According to my natal chart, my North Node, which represents what I need to work on in order to achieve more fulfillment in this life, is Sagittarius. I need to see the big picture of things, follow my intuition, and live a truthful life, instead of falling back to my Gemini South Node comfort zone of being fickle, getting caught up in the tiny details, and leading a superficial life. I would like to think that I have overcome this karmic lesson, for I have grown in all these aspects according to what the universe has thrown at me. I have discovered my voice, and have expanded my perception, realizing the connections all around me. I have achieved balance in my life, through my body and mind, but now my soul, allowing the dualities I once had, such as introvert/extrovent, mental/emotional, to blend to a single unity. To achieve wholeness.
So that was the first major step in my awakening. Getting all these karmic issues resolved. The second part of my awakening process happened in two parts that have over-lapped one another. I have been seeing a lot of synchronizations or “Angel Numbers” as I like to refer them to. These numbers, such as 11:11, hold meaning when repetitively seen. For a while now, I have been seeing the ones and elevens, which is a sign to remain positive, for my thoughts are manifesting. Yay! It’s nice for me to see them, because it is a reminder to myself of the connections of the universe and that there is greater power beyond our 3D world. Besides the Angel Numbers, I have been noticing some internal changes that made me question things…
I am an empath. An empath can easily pick up the emotions and energies of another person and become very effected by them. I have always been a sensitive person, more touchy-feely than most, and was ridiculed for it. This part of me shut down during my eating disorder, but returned once I started healing my body and mind. Working in retail as well as at a crystal shop that deals with energies, I was constantly picking up others emotions and misjudging them as my own. I would get this heaviness in my heart, like some dark energy leeched itself on. But also being an empath, I am blessed with this gift of sensitivity. Call me crazy, but I do love the sense I get when I step into the forest and am filled with such awe that I tear up, or get oddly excited when I see something others would find mundane, such as a dandelion growing through the cracks of a concrete sidewalk. I love having these intense feelings (side note, people with their Sun, Moon or Ascendant in Scorpio are often empaths). So anyway, recently, I have noticed that I haven’t been effected by others emotions, that my heart does not hurt, or that I feel energetically overwhelmed. That’s good, right? Well, aside from that, I am also not finding the intense emotions in my daily life, such as getting teary eyed at a moving video or elated with child-like wonder. That is the concerning part. It was causing me much worry because I loved that part of being empathic. Well, at this time, like I mentioned, I was/still am seeing Angel Numbers reminding me to stay positive and that my Guides are with me.
Speaking of my Guides, within the last two months, while these other occurrences were happening, I was able to hear my guide for the first time. This happened to me when I was doing a tarot reading. Normally when doing a reading, I rely on my feelings/intuition to tell me when to stop shuffling and lay my spread out, but seeing as at this time my feelings were a little wacked, I found it difficult to rely on this aspect. While shuffling though, I heard a distinct voice in my head telling me to “Stop”. That is when I laid out my cards, and found that I had a very accurate reading.
Other things that have been happening in regards to me consciously evolving are that I have been picking up the energies of crystals more so. I love to make grids. Last Thursday, the same day I heard one of my guides, I made a grid for my boyfriend who was returning from Seattle after looking at the Natropathic schools the area has to offer. Wanting him to have a safe return home, I set up a grid that was to aid in protection and safe travel. My boss, who is extremely gifted in multi-dimensional communications and matters of energy, loved my grid, but suggested that I add black tourmaline to it. I did, and man, did I feel the intense amount of energy that radiated from that grid. I actually had to take a step back because of the heat I felt.
And now I am experiencing the physical symptoms of getting sick. What does sickness have to do with shifting my consciousness? Well many people claim that it is one of the physical symptoms experienced. I know this isn’t my typical sickness, because I have only ever gotten colds, and being very self-aware, know the precise order of symptoms and length of time of my colds. This is new. I have a sore throat, headache, sore neck, stuffy nose and have been experiencing hot and cold flashes. Another physical symptom is the vividness of my dreams. I had two very vivid dreams last night that I can still recall in great detail. So with these physical symptoms as well as the other intense changes that have been happening to me recently, I feel a new shift in consciousness, that my vibrations are raising, and to keep remaining positive despite the yucky physical ailments and stagnation of feelings.
I would love to hear if anyone else has experienced similar symptoms in their shifts or just would like to hear your personal stories! As always, peace and love.