Rediscovering Myself: A Blessing in Disguise

For anyone who has hit rock bottom at some point in their life, you’ll remember and know of the sheer misery that feels like. Everyone has a different story of that experience or time when they just were at the ultimate low at some point in your life. For me, I had lived my life trying to please others. I cared so much of what others thought of me, I had lost my sense of self trying fill everyone else’s order of who I thought they wanted me to be. So I fell into an eating disorder at college. That not only stripped me away to skin and bones, it stripped away my sense of self. My interests, beliefs, esteem, and everything else about me was lost. I was a shell of a person. That was my rock bottom. For two years this is who I was. Through recovery and cognitive behavioral treatment, I got better, and I keep growing and getting better each day.

One of the joys I found in hitting rock bottom was my journey of self-discovery. Since I had lost my whole identity through my experience, I had to figure out who I was again. It was like taking myself out on a date. What were my passions? What did I want out of life? What were my beliefs? As the Chinese Philosopher, Lao Tzu said, “Knowing others in wisdom; knowing yourself is enlightenment.” I have truly enjoyed the experience of getting to know myself. I do not only know my beliefs and interests, but my character, mind, soul and body. I have filled that former shell of a person. And she is continuing to be filled…filled with knowledge, wisdom, and enlightenment.

One of the many things I rediscovered was my interest about astrology. I have always been fascinated by the stars, learning about the ancient lore of constellations. It is fascinating to me how the planets affect us. How the moon can influence the tides, and the sun affects our mood. The Zodiac and how your birth date can reveal aspects about yourself is something I have found useful in my self-discovery. My sun sign is Virgo. It’s rather interesting how that does reveal so much about me, one thing being Virgos are very helpful people. We’re the service oriented, busy bee sign of the Zodiac. I have always been a helpful person, and even through starting this blog, I want to help others in their own journeys. Knowing this about myself, I also need to be aware of learning when to not feel obligated to do this for my own personal well-being.

Virgos strive for perfection, which is something I have personally let control my life at one point. I am learning to better myself still, but in a healthy way and I am not being hard of myself. I will never be perfect, I can simply only be better than myself each day.

In correlation to my sun sign, which represents the active part of our personality and sense of self-expression, my moon sign, which signifies our habits, how we react emotionally and deal with our feelings, is Scorpio. Scorpio moon signs tend to have intense emotions and passion. We tend to dig deep regarding emotions and intimacy. Being very emotional, I have learned not to become so overwhelmed when I get faced with negative feelings.

I have also figured out which signs fall under which planet in accordance to my natal chart. I have personally found it to be very accurate for myself. If you are interested in figuring out your own birth chart and more about yourself through astrology, click here.  Astrology has helped me with my own rediscovery. Whatever your own case of rediscovery is, enjoy the chance to find out who you are and all the beautiful ways that you are unique!

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2 thoughts on “Rediscovering Myself: A Blessing in Disguise

  1. Hi Tortugadelune,
    This post is truly beautiful. Despite the depths you have fallen you have found the beauty in self-discovery and pulling yourself up. I am just beginning my journey and though it’s difficult, I never felt more enlightened in all my life. I am a Pisces and my husband is a Virgo, so I completely understand your characteristics. My moon sign is Libra, so add that to Pisces and making a decision or feeling self-confident is pretty much out the window.
    I love your uniqueness, keep it up 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dreamer in the Real World,

      Thank you so much for this beautiful, heart warming comment! I am so happy to know you feel enlightened and have made the choice to start your journey 🙂 Having Libra as your moon sign though, you want to seek out balance and harmony! I think that is wonderful and every sign has their negative traits, so don’t be too hard on yourself!

      Liked by 1 person

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