Resentment

In my past, I have been known to hold grudges and be quite stubborn. While Taurus is not my zodiac sign, I’d say I have some of that stubborn bull in me. Anyways, if something would upset me, I’d keep it bottled up inside instead of confronting my problem. Overtime, nothing got solved, and I kept feeling more and more bitter towards the other person. I kept hoping the problem would just go away instead of actually doing something about it. Clearly this is not the right solution. Resentment, according to the dictionary is, “a bitterness at having been treated unfairly”. Our perception of course is that we have been mistreated according to either our expectations or our values. If we feel that we have been treated unfairly, we should rationalize our expectations. Are they valid? Are they realistic? We must also see if this resentment is because our personal values have been compromised. It is important to really understand why we feel such a resentment towards that person. Also, try to see things from other perspectives. It is hard when we let a feeling such as bitterness compromise our logic, and are unable to rationally think about the “Why” of the situation.

Bitterness and Resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting. It’s us. -Alana Stewart

So we feel resentment. We start to loathe that other person. But what good is that? They do not know that we have these negative feelings towards them. Most of the time, we keep these feelings bottled up inside, and they only end up hurting us. It is much better to initially confront these feelings when they first arise. You cannot change the past, but you can have a conversation with the person you feel resentment towards and try to work the situation out. Sometimes the person didn’t even realize they did anything wrong, and it is all a matter of perception. Maybe you even did something wrong. The way to figure these things out is through honest communication. If you can have a talk and work things out, great! So what happens then if you never get that opportunity to communicate? How do we resolve these feelings of resentment? Forgiveness. It is easy to say, “I forgive you”. It is harder to mean it. When we forgive someone for how they mistreated us, that resentment ceases to exist because we have moved on. Resentment is a focus on the past, and being able to forgive and move on is what will create a healthier, happier future for yourself internally and externally.

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