1.17.18

From everything to nothing.

How drastic a change of heart.

The hurt you have caused

Without care.

Without accountability.

I’d selfishly like to believe that we’d meet again,

But why?

If you could act so coldly towards the woman you said you loved and care about,

It shows that you never really felt those things from the start.

I was disposable to you.

Just like everyone in your life.

You keep them at arms length,

Just for your own comfort.

But not theirs.

People aren’t toys.

You can’t keep them up on a shelf or locked in a box,

Only to get attention when you so desire.

 

 

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Free Write 1.7.18

 

Like a wild animal,

Unchained.

Free.

 

Watch me fly.

Soaring higher than I ever could have imagined.

My reach is limitless.

 

Watch me run.

Roaming and wandering hidden trails,

Each turn is a discovery.

 

I am not who I am,

Nor who I was.

To assume I am a mystery for you to unravel is foolish.

I am ever changing.

I am not something to be solved,

But someone to be enjoyed.

 

To enjoy their company,

Their thoughts,

Their perspective,

Their humor,

Their wit,

Their essence.

 

I am not one to be captured,

To be tamed.

I am a wild woman.

Watch me roar.

 

-M.L.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Promise to Myself

I vow I will never let another man try to control me,

To make me feel unworthy,

Unloved.

I radiate my own light,

I will keep it burning bright,

I will not let it get snuffed by some man who doesn’t appreciate the fire within me,

I promise to not let another man use me for his own sexual conquest or desires,

To speak my voice,

To be heard,

I will walk away from anyone who tries to stifle that voice within me.

I am not a puppet.

I am not an object,

I am not a thing to desire,

I am a person.

I am stronger than I give myself credit for,

I will not doubt my judgement,

I am wiser than I believe,

I am a source of love and power.

I am gentle and strong.

I am humble and bold.

I am the light and the dark.

I am complete within myself.

-M.L.

 

 

 

Free

I’m free.

From that poison.

From the mask.

From the actor,

The trickster,

From the illusion of love.

The magic trick you pulled.

Free from the arrogance,

From your entitlement,

From your laziness,

From your anger,

From your judgement,

From your pain,

From your draining energy,

From your selfishness,

From your lies,

I’m finally free.

-M.L.

 

Q & A

I’ll always keep waiting for an apology I’ll never get.

The questions left unanswered.

So many questions.

All of them, “Why?”

 

But I will always be waiting for those answers.

And that was one of the reasons why it ended.

You kept delivering false promises.

And I grew tired of the disappointment and lies.

 

I could keep waiting.

Long after the end.

For those answers.

But you never took the time to figure yourself out,

So those questions I suppose,

Are more for you than me.

But you never will seek them.

Ironic from the know-it-all.

The greatest thing left unknown is yourself.

An Ocean of Emotion

My feelings stir inside my soul,

Like the infinite waters of the ocean,

A thought, a place, a memory,

Can arise my heart to motion.

Anger pulses through my veins,

A dark storm of rage,

Deep inside it is unleashed,

From its boned cage.

Floods of heartache submerge me,

Sadness sweeps across my skin,

A longing of missing you,

Drowns me from within.

I can’t contain these feelings,

These moods they ebb and flow,

Of things left unsettled,

Of answers I’ll never know.

   – M.L.